OH BABY!

Well friends, now you know why I've been absent from my little bloggy.  We're having a baby.  All I can say is God is good.  It's been a bumpy road to this point, but worth it. 

How We Found Out:  Something was feeling a little off.  So I took a test, ok maybe three and all were positive.  It was the day before my birthday so I was super excited to get such a wonderful gift.  We only had a few moments of joy before reality hit us that I would have to immediately call the doctor and get a bunch of tests.  The good news is that all of those tests were really good.

First Doctor Visit:  A few days after our positive results, we made a trip to Dr. Homm's office (fertility expert).  An ultra sound confirmed it.  Dr. Homm even said it was a complete miracle, no IVF!  Dr. Homm did deliver some news we didn't want.  I had a very large blood clot next to the baby and part of the placenta had detached.  Not good, but still we remained positive.  Dr. Homm recommended I go on bed rest, but I insisted I couldn't do that with work.  So I started blood thinner shots to hopefully help with the clot.  I have a clotting disorder with a huge name that I can never pronounce, but it's called MTFHR.  Basically my blood clots too much and it causes a bunch of problems like miscarriage, exhaustion and oh heart attack!  I learned how to give myself injections in the stomach and have been since.  This has made my stomach several shades of green, black, brown, red and yellow.  It has forced me to buy my first one piece suit. :)  Humor, you gotta have it.  I will have to give myself the shots until the end at which time my new doctor will switch to another med so I won't bleed out during delivery.  I also had to take additional progesterone until week 13 and a ton of extra folic acid.  All of that made for a tough and rough first trimester.

First Trimester:  Well it's almost over and I'm feeling much better.  I did not think I would ever make it this far.  The good news is that I no longer have to take progesterone.  We are just a few days from week 14 and my baby bump is clearly defined.  :)  I have officially entered the maternity section.  We had a great visit to the doctor recently.  He says everything is normal and baby F is healthy.  All of our tests for Downs Syndrome and other disorders/disease came back normal.  We go back to our regular OB August 19th to hopefully find out what we are having.  We are due January 28, 2012.  In the meantime, here are some Baby F photos.  Enjoy!

 

New Post Coming Soon

Sorry friends that I have been away for a while.  A new, detailed post as to why will be coming soon.  I promise!  XOXO

I'm Back, back again...

I'm back.  Sorry for the brief hiatus, we've been very busy. 

VEGAS BABY!
Chris and I took a short weekend trip to Vegas.  We had a great time with the exception of the freezing weather.  We left Louisville and 90 degree weather to land in Vegas and 40 degree weather.  We traveled to the Hoover Dam while there and I had In-N-Out burger twice.  In-N-Out is my favorite fast food ever, but it's not available east of Vegas.  I highly recommend it if you travel west.

FERTILITY OR LACK OF.
Over the last few weeks, Chris and I have made a decision about fertility treatment.  We are waiting until after summer to move forward.  The entire experience so far has been mentally and physically exhausting.  We both want to enjoy summer and allow my body to continue to heal.  We are enjoying these few moments of freedom from test strips, needles, charting, doctor apts and blood work.  Chris and I have decided to go with the option Dr. Homm suggested of hormone shots.  He says he will only allow us to do three series because if it's going to work, it will within that time frame.  Each series is one month of shots.  I'm really dreading having to give myself a shot in the stomach, but Chris says he will help me.  :)  I'm more worried about the person I will morph into because of the hormones.  This may be more of a concern for Chris.  Please pray for him. ;)  We will likely begin this in October.  It's very expensive, but I'm praying it will be worth it.  If the hormone treatments do not work, we have decided on adoption.  Please pray for us over the next few months.

WORK, WORK AND WORK
It's the busiest time of year for us.  Thunder, Derby and sweeps all at once.  Dear friends I will be checking out for the next few weeks until I get caught up at work.  I will post pictures of work related Derby events soon.  I met a wonderful lady today who heads up a church doll ministry.  She was such an inspiration.  God works in mysterious ways.  :)

XOXO

Los Siento

I'm sorry bloggy friends.  I have been away for a while, but I promise to fill you in on all the happenings in my life.  Just to tease you it will include everything from a trip to Vegas to upcoming Kentucky Derby stuff.  I will write soon.  XOXO - Jenn

Why NOT Me?

When something bad happens to someone, the first question that comes to mind usually is simply why me?  I've asked myself this question many times in my 28 years on this planet.  On Friday, Chris and I received news we were fearing.  Instead of asking why me, I found myself dealing with it by saying WHY NOT ME.  The news - It will be very difficult and maybe impossible for us to conceive.  We had a post op appointment with our fertility specialist, Dr. Homm.  He is a fantastic doctor and very sincere.  I could tell he was trying to choose his words wisely when talking to us.  Inside I was thinking, Doctor - My husband and I see death on a regular basis, we break bad news everyday and keep it together when the world is burning up around us, we are capable of hearing "bad news".  I didn't say anything, I just sat quietly taking it all in.  I remember thinking, am I really here in THIS moment.  He gave us some good news first.  I have "some" good looking female parts, but not the parts that really need to work.  My problem is my very small and aged ovaries.  The doctor is not sure why my ovaries have aged, but there's no reversing it.  The left ovary is pretty much gone from a cyst I had removed and the right is nearing the end of it's useful age with few eggs left.  Why not me.  God does not promise life with be easy.  He says there WILL be troubles, but He will be with us.  So why not me.  God WILL bless us in this trial.  It is His plan and our privilege to be a part of it. 

Options
Unlike some people with fertility problems, we have options.  We have three which are all very costly.  The first is injecting myself with hormones in hopes my right ovary gives up the best of what eggs are left.  Along with that I continue taking a aspirin and possibly a blood thinner for my clotting disorder along with hormones to sustain the pregnancy.  The second option is IVF - all I can say is expensive!  Our third and final option is adoption.  We will likely do adoption even if we do one of the others.  We both want one biological and one adopted.  There are thousands of unwanted children on this earth that deserve a home.  We will be in prayer while deciding over the next few weeks.

God speaks...
While in church this morning, a couple with their adopted daughter sat in front of us.  I could not take my eyes off of them.  It was like God strategically put them in my path.  I watched their facial expressions and the way they acted toward one another.  It was like God was speaking to me.  I've really struggled with the notion of going forward with adoption.  I feel like I need to mourn my fertility.  I know that sounds insane, but that's how I feel.  You are getting my raw and unedited feelings folks.  Chris is ready to adopt now.  He's looking at adoption Web sites and reading all the laws and information.  But he still understands my fragile feelings.  I explained to him I am still "mourning" my fertility.  I'm not sure how that sounds to someone else, but it makes sense in my mind.  I feel like God is really pushing us in the adoption direction, but I have a lot of concerns.  It just so happens there's an adoption summit at our church in May.  See, God speaks.  I am in prayer that God will direct our decisions and open our minds and hearts to whatever His plan is. 

We have a lot to think and pray about in the next few weeks.  Please keep us in your prayers.  Thank you bloggy friends.    

Feeling Normal, Finally!

I'm finally feeling "normal" again.  Still in some pain from the hernia surgery and new hardware in its place, but overall I feel a ton better.  I'm actually feeling the best I've felt in more than a year.  I am feeling like I'm getting my life back overall. 

I gave up soda about two weeks ago and I feel so much better.  Chris is on a major diet and it's helping me eat better too.  We are also trying to walk more to give the pooches exercise.  We are trying to get into a healthy lifestyle both physically and mentally. 

We have a lot to be thankful for.  We do ask you to keep us in prayer this Friday as we go back to our fertility specialist for a checkup and to hear what our choices are.  Doctor Homm did not find what he was hoping for.  He says my ovaries are extremely small.  That means a lot, but to simplify it means conceiving will be even more difficult that we thought.  But do not feel bad for us, please.  Chris and I are in a great place mentally.  WE KNOW God has a plan.  It may not include biological children, but we know He has a plan.  Sometimes realizing God is in control and you're not at the wheel is the most liberating thing in the world.  I have recently come to grips with this reality and I am such a happier person.  God is good. 

I also heard about a young woman who miscarried today and I ask that you keep her and her family in your prayers.  This is a horrible thing in which many couples experience in silence.  If I could give any young couple advice before conceiving, it would be that infertility is something a lot of people experience.  It's not something to be ashamed of.  I have found so much comfort in letting my family and friends know.  Their love and kindness has helped more than any of them will ever know. 

I will post about our doctor's visit this weekend.  Until then enjoy the sunshine as Spring is finally here.  XOXO.

The Pain Remains

It's been almost a week since my surgery and I'm still in pain and the bruising is worse.  I will return to work tomorrow, Wednesday even with the current pain situation.  I guess the 3 or 4 week recovery is likely.  I was thinking I would be quick to recover, but I was wrong.  I've now resorted to Ambien to help me sleep.  I can't get comfortable enough to stay asleep.  When I wake up the pain is the worst.  I will keep you posted, but as of now I'm very disappointed in the recovery process.